Feedback Without Power: Influencing Change When You're Not the Boss
Part 2 of the "Leadership in Transition" Series
"They're making the same mistake over and over, but I can't exactly write them up."
This was the exact phrase a client used last week when describing their biggest frustration in their interim leadership role. They could see quality issues, process breakdowns, and team dynamics that needed addressing—but without formal supervisory authority, they felt powerless to create change.
If you're nodding along, you're not alone. Whether you're covering for a retired supervisor, managing former peers, or simply the most senior person left on the team, giving effective feedback without formal power is one of the trickiest leadership skills to master.
And here's what I've learned from coaching professionals through this challenge: the absence of formal authority often forces you to become a better leader than those who rely solely on their title.
The Unique Challenge for Marginalized Leaders
Before we dive into strategies, let's acknowledge something crucial: if you're a woman, person of color, or member of the LGBTQIA+ community, giving feedback without formal authority carries additional complexity.
You're not just managing the delicate balance of peer relationships—you're also navigating potential bias about your right to give feedback at all. I've heard clients say things like:
"Who am I to tell them what to do?"
"What if they think I'm being bossy?"
"I don't want to come across as aggressive."
These aren't signs of insecurity—they're the reality of operating in systems where your authority may be questioned in ways that wouldn't happen to others. The good news? The skills you develop to give feedback effectively in this position become superpowers throughout your career.
Reframing Feedback: From Criticism to Collaboration
The biggest shift I help clients make is moving from thinking about feedback as something you "give" to someone, to thinking about it as a collaborative process of problem-solving together.
When you don't have formal authority, traditional feedback approaches often backfire. Saying "You need to improve your communication" to a former peer can create defensiveness and resentment. But saying "I've noticed some client confusion about our project timelines—can we brainstorm how to make our communication clearer?" opens up dialogue.
The CARE Framework for Feedback Without Authority
Here's the framework I use with clients who need to influence change without formal power:
C - Connect to Purpose Start with the shared goal, not the individual behavior. Instead of "You're always late to meetings," try "Our team meetings are crucial for keeping projects on track. How can we make sure everyone has what they need to be fully present?"
A - Ask Before Asserting Lead with questions that invite reflection rather than statements that feel like judgments. "What do you think might help streamline this process?" is more powerful than "This process is inefficient."
R - Root Cause Focus Instead of addressing surface behaviors, dig into what's driving them. Is someone missing deadlines because they're overwhelmed, unclear about priorities, or lacking resources?
E - Establish Next Steps Together Don't just identify problems—collaborate on solutions. "What would need to change for this to work better?" creates ownership instead of compliance.
Practical Strategies for Different Feedback Scenarios
When Quality Standards Are Slipping
Don't say: "Your work isn't meeting our standards." Do say: "I've noticed some inconsistencies in our deliverables lately. What obstacles are you running into? How can we make sure we're all set up for success?"
Then: Work together to identify specific quality checkpoints, resource needs, or process improvements.
When Team Dynamics Are Affecting Performance
Don't say: "You need to communicate better with the team." Do say: "I'm seeing some disconnects between team members that might be affecting our projects. What's your perspective on how we're working together?"
Then: Focus on creating systems and processes that improve collaboration naturally.
When Someone Is Resistant to Change
Don't say: "You need to adapt to the new way we're doing things." Do say: "I know this transition has been challenging. What concerns do you have about the changes? How can we make this work better for everyone?"
Then: Address legitimate concerns while maintaining necessary changes.
Building Influence Through Consistency and Care
When you can't rely on positional power, your influence comes from demonstrating that you genuinely care about both the person and the work. This means:
1. Leading with Support, Not Correction
Before addressing what's not working, acknowledge what is working. People are more open to feedback when they feel seen and valued.
2. Making It About "We," Not "You"
Frame challenges as team issues rather than individual failings. "How can we improve our client response time?" feels collaborative; "You need to respond faster" feels punitive.
3. Following Through on Commitments
If you say you'll advocate for additional resources or training, do it. Your credibility depends on people seeing that you act on what you promise.
4. Creating Psychological Safety
People need to know that bringing up problems or admitting mistakes won't be held against them. Model this by being open about your own learning process.
Navigating Resistance: When Feedback Isn't Well-Received
Not everyone will be receptive to feedback from someone without formal authority, and that's okay. Here's how to handle resistance:
Document Everything
Keep records of:
Conversations you've had about performance issues
Agreements made about next steps
Patterns you're observing that affect team performance
This isn't about building a case against someone—it's about having clear information if you need to escalate to formal leadership.
Focus on Impact, Not Intent
When someone becomes defensive, redirect to impact: "I'm not questioning your intentions, but I am seeing some confusion among our clients. How can we address that together?"
Know When to Escalate
If feedback conversations aren't leading to change and it's affecting team performance, you may need to involve higher-level leadership. Frame this as seeking support, not tattling: "I've been working with [person] on [issue], and I'd like some guidance on additional resources or approaches that might help."
The Root Cause Mindset: Going Deeper Than Surface Issues
One of the most powerful tools you have when giving feedback without authority is your ability to dig into root causes. Often, performance issues aren't about capability or motivation—they're about systems, resources, or clarity.
Ask yourself:
What systemic issues might be contributing to this problem?
What resources or support might this person need to be successful?
How might the current transition or uncertainty be affecting their performance?
What can I do to remove obstacles rather than just pointing them out?
This approach often reveals solutions that benefit the whole team, not just the individual receiving feedback.
Communication That Builds Bridges, Not Walls
The language you use when giving feedback without authority matters enormously. Here are some phrases that work:
Instead of: "You always..." or "You never..." Try: "I've noticed..." or "It seems like..."
Instead of: "You should..." Try: "What if we..." or "How do you think it would work if..."
Instead of: "That's wrong." Try: "I'm seeing something different. Can we compare notes?"
Instead of: "You need to..." Try: "What would help you..." or "What would need to change for..."
Your Feedback Growth Edge
If you're navigating this challenge right now, here are three reflection questions:
What's one team performance issue I've been avoiding because I'm not sure how to address it without formal authority?
How can I approach this as a problem-solving conversation rather than a criticism session?
What support do I need to have these conversations effectively?
Remember: giving effective feedback without formal power isn't about finding ways to control people—it's about creating conditions where everyone can do their best work.
Ready to Master Influence Without Authority?
Learning to give feedback effectively when you're not the official boss is a crucial leadership skill that will serve you throughout your career. But developing this skill while managing the daily pressures of keeping your team functional can feel overwhelming.
Through my practice, Hourglass Coaching, I work with mid-career professionals—especially LGBTQIA+, minority, and women leaders—who are learning to influence change without formal authority. Together, we'll develop your feedback skills, build your confidence in difficult conversations, and create strategies that work for your unique situation and team dynamics.
I'm offering a complimentary 30-minute coaching session to readers who want to strengthen their ability to create positive change without formal power. This isn't a sales call—it's an opportunity to explore your specific feedback challenges and develop approaches that feel authentic and effective for you.
If you're ready to transform difficult conversations into collaborative problem-solving sessions, email me directly. Let's explore how to build the kind of influence that creates lasting positive change for your team.
Previously in This Series:
Coming Next in This Series:
Part 3: "Maintaining Excellence in Transition: Quality Control Without Getting Pigeonholed"
Part 4: "Growing Through Plateaus: Finding Purpose When You're Holding the Fort"
